what reality TV has taught me.

I love watching TV! it's no secret, and I'm not ashamed to admit it :) I love, love, love that there are things such as DVR and Hulu for me to keep up with it all! Reality TV is everywhere now, and I am definitely a sucker for it! But last week, 2 shows really actually taught me something! I'm a little ashamed to tell you the two of them because I think they are my worst guilty pleasure, but here I go....Real Housewives of OC and The Bachelorette. okay, you can stop laughing now.  :) 


First, Housewives. I know it's reality and I don't believe everything, but it's entertaining television, it's sort of like a train wreck you know, you can't stop watching. In this particular episode, the season finale, there is no way Vicki's emotions are false. The poor woman is going through a divorce. She cries because she is in her bathroom and his toothbrush is still there, anytime anyone says his name she starts crying again, and as soon as you think she's going to stop crying, feelings take over again and she starts crying, basically over anything and nothing. My heart aches for her! I know I have never been through a divorce, but I have been through heartache, and lost loves, and that's exactly how I have felt in the past. I admit I am an emotional person and I cry as easily as I laugh and as much as I text (aka, A LOT) Except with heartache I always thought, why the hell do I cry over any little thing that remind me of him? and I would tell my self I was dumb. Vicki showed me that I am not the only one who does that. Watching the episode was so, so sad, but I know that she is a strong woman and will be able to overcome all of it. to read more, here is Vicki's blog


Moving on, The Bachelorette. oooooh man. Bentley! BENTLEY! if I was asked to describe in a nutshell the type of guys I've dated I would describe most of them as a "Bentley" 
Here's the link if you'd like to watch the episode week 3-Bentley Here's Ashley (Bachelorette) so in lust with this guy, she's eating up all the bs he's feeding her, and in the interviews (that Ashley doesn't get to see until the show airs) Bentley says numerous times how he wishes it was someone else as the bachelorette, and how Ashley's not really his type. Now, I know that production probably knew about this but decided to put him on because it would make good tv (and it does) but I'm glad they did, now I don't feel like I am the only stupid one who eats up everyone's sweet nothings and "has a good feeling about this one" while the guy is being a douche seeing what he can get out of me. Even when she was crying on him when he decided to tell her he was leaving (which he used his child as an excuse by the way, WHAT A PIG) he made a nasty comment on the position they were in (she was straddling him while hugging him) that he "wanted to get some then" PIG. again. watch the episode, you will see it ALL and will want to hate him :) 


I watch reality TV because for the most part, a lot of it is true. I giggle at the corny dates on bachelorette and the funny drama there is on it sometimes, but I do believe peoples feelings are real. I mean, actors have to feel something when they are playing a part, so why would normal people be able to leave their feelings at the door? that's my reasoning behind "real feelings on reality tv" I know a lot of it is fake, and a lot is taken out of context to make a good show, and it works! haha 
I think I'm going to write a blog once a week on shows. So You Think You Can Dance has started and I am hooked already! and I started Parks & Recreation so I am LOVING Netflix for that! 


I hope everyone enjoys my deep dark secrets coming out about my guilty pleasures and how much I connect with these silly shows, it took a lot of guts for me to put this out there, so I hope you guys can relate, or at least got a good laugh! 


Happy Wednesday everyone! <3




ooh! and I almost forgot! Gretchen, my favorite Housewife, said something in one of her interviews about her relationship: "sometimes love isn't enough" and "I'm in love but I'm not in love and stupid" these two quotes, ahhh, I have really fallen in love with them. Just wanted to put them out there :) 

changes, changes, changes! (and many, many thanks)

So, first of all I really need to change the name of this blog! I laugh every time I read the word "babies" first haha. people are probably thinking that I am like this 30 year old who is obsessed with having kids! and ooh how times have changed! yes, I still love babies, but goodness has this summer been an eye-opener! I have realized I can wait to have a family, and do all the family things, I need to focus on me first. Which brings me to my second change:
I.Lost.My.Planner.Today. ahhh! this is the first year that I have actually bought a planner and have used almost every month in it! It was a school year planner so guess what? I get a new one in July! Now, the fact that I am excited about this/ freaking out I couldn't find my planner is HUGE! I looked for it and decided I would just wait for my mom to get home and I would ask her...I couldn't! I tried to sit back and enjoy my show but I just kept getting up and looking for it, I was having a panic attack! This is such a huge change for me because I am usually not that organized. I've kept my room clean for almost 3 weeks straight now and that means the world. To all of you that know me, be proud! haha (my car is still a work in progress, but it's cleaner that usual, hehe) 
next change: heartbreak. again. woooooop! story of my life. and you would think I learned my lesson with these dumb men I meet, and I do, but this one in particular has taught me a lot- to embrace my passion. I always say I'm passionate about everything I do, but when it comes to love, when it comes to showing someone how much I admire them, how much I appreciate them, I go above and beyond. That's when I set myself up for heartbreak, but I have learned to embrace that too. And although some guys may run away from that, it's not going to make me change. I know that someone will love me for that, someone will be able to appreciate my passion and just take it. I don't give to receive I give for the simple pleasure of giving. the pleasure of knowing that I have made it clear to you that you made an impact in my life and I give thanks for that.


now for the thanking part.  I can't put into words how truly blessed I am to have fallen in the hands of amazing parents wanting me to take care of their children. It started it out with about 3 moms who happened to go to the same hair dresser, which happens to be a good friend of mine and MY hair dresser too and those 3 moms have given my number to moms and moms and it has just been this chain reaction that I could have NEVER imagined. I'm not only grateful that they recommend me because of course that means WORK! but it goes beyond that. I had a mom email me this:

Also, just emailed my 'mom friend' this (about you):

Ok, random, but i had to tell someone that would appreciate it. Not only did she coax M out of his room (after he realised his mean witch of a mother was gone.) but she fed them all lunch, cleaned up everything...and when i got home, E was up.  She (Mariana) told me that she had checked E's temp before naptime b/c she felt hot. She said E had a temp of 99 so she didn't think it was an emergency to call me. She checked it AGAIN when E woke up just to make sure it was going down.  She is only 21!!! She's going to be an awesome mom ;)  Anyhow, that was random.....but i know my husband won't really appreciate that, just another mom.

this brought tears to my eyes, along with every phone call I get from a "new mom" telling me how so and so gave them my number and they have heard only the best things about me. I cry and feel so humbled after every single call. This is what I'm talking about being passionate, these people know how much I absolutely adore their children and the fact that they allow me (and trust me enough) to come into their homes and watch their most precious treasures just truly makes me continue to have that drive in me. I've literally never felt this way before, so humble and grateful. Grateful to them, and most important, praising God for this wonderful lesson, and this wonderful opportunity to spend my summer doing what I love. 

I hope all this inspires someone. 

If your timid about something, but you know you are so great at it-go for it.

If you're heartbroken, take time to heal, yes, but don't dwell on what you cannot fix. Learn from it, embrace it, and move forward. 

Love, 

M

ooohh Schertz, Texas!

So today was JR's graduation...my friend Jossie's younger brother. Today was such a sweet day in so many ways. One, because I see JR as the younger brother I never had. He has the biggest heart of anyone I know and he has allllwayyys shown that even when Jossie and I were mean to him. haha It was also sweet because Jossie and I hadn't hung out in a while and I consider them more than friends, they are family. We've known each other since I was in 6th grade and we have been bffs ever since. and I keep saying we because when I think of them it's everyone, mom dad jr and jossie. Jossie's mom might as well be my mom! but the deep deep reason I was inspired to blog today? GROWTH. 

This morning I was at a swim meet babysitting and I happened to see a football coach from my old high school and his family, I babysat his two boys and I just couldn't get over how much they had grown! and then the day just kept being filled with everyone growing. I sat at the graduation I thought I didn't know anyone but like 3 people graduating, turns out I was wrong! As I heard last names being called out, I was recognizing them and Jossie (who had been in highschool when these Seniors were coming in as sophomores) would be like "yes that's so and so's little brother/sister." I was sooo surprised because the kids walking the stage were my friends little brother or sister that I would see when I went to my friends when I was in like 5th and 6th grade or so. now they were graduating! it def made me feel old, but then also it got me thinking of good ol Schertz, Texas. the place we all "hated" and "wanted to get out of" I see it now and it really is a nice place to live in and we were all very lucky to have grown up in a small town that cared so much about each other, no matter what drama was going on. It made me really appreciate it! it's kind of sad because Schertz isn't my "home" anymore since my parents moved to San Antonio (I still say im from there though hehe) It made me go back to the day I left high school, and even though I graduated "because I couldn't be in high school one more year" I don't regret it, I just think about the Mariana back then, the one who wanted to conquer the world one kindergarner at a time. Now I have changed my major, but have fallen in love more with kids than I think I ever would have if I stayed in my education major. weird I know. The Mariana that had a huge heart and wasn't afraid to show it, I was an open book for the world to read. and now, I little more timid than I used to be at 18, a little more reserved when it comes to my heart, and I surely don't smile as often as I did back then. So now, I'm inspired to light that spark again, to be so innocent and ready to live and eager to see what was next in life. 

Schertz now holds a more special place in my heart. Last night I was talking with friends and the only reason why we were even friends is because we were introduced by people that went to our high school, even though we are years apart. That's how small this town is, everyone just meshes in. I used to see that as horrible, but I see a new beauty in it now. It's like this weird love-hate bond. I can't imagine my life without all the people I met there, and even to this day, I meet people because "they are so and so's cousin/brother/sister/etc who went to Clemens"(our high school). 

Thank you so much Schertz, Texas. For the wonderful memories, for the amazing friends I made ever since I was 7, (and that we are still in touch now, even if they moved, because of wonderful technology) for the "small town feeling" I've never felt anywhere else, for the times I rolled my eyes and said "oooh Schertz", for all the drama, all the tears, and all the laughs.