I.Lost.My.Planner.Today. ahhh! this is the first year that I have actually bought a planner and have used almost every month in it! It was a school year planner so guess what? I get a new one in July! Now, the fact that I am excited about this/ freaking out I couldn't find my planner is HUGE! I looked for it and decided I would just wait for my mom to get home and I would ask her...I couldn't! I tried to sit back and enjoy my show but I just kept getting up and looking for it, I was having a panic attack! This is such a huge change for me because I am usually not that organized. I've kept my room clean for almost 3 weeks straight now and that means the world. To all of you that know me, be proud! haha (my car is still a work in progress, but it's cleaner that usual, hehe)
next change: heartbreak. again. woooooop! story of my life. and you would think I learned my lesson with these dumb men I meet, and I do, but this one in particular has taught me a lot- to embrace my passion. I always say I'm passionate about everything I do, but when it comes to love, when it comes to showing someone how much I admire them, how much I appreciate them, I go above and beyond. That's when I set myself up for heartbreak, but I have learned to embrace that too. And although some guys may run away from that, it's not going to make me change. I know that someone will love me for that, someone will be able to appreciate my passion and just take it. I don't give to receive I give for the simple pleasure of giving. the pleasure of knowing that I have made it clear to you that you made an impact in my life and I give thanks for that.
now for the thanking part. I can't put into words how truly blessed I am to have fallen in the hands of amazing parents wanting me to take care of their children. It started it out with about 3 moms who happened to go to the same hair dresser, which happens to be a good friend of mine and MY hair dresser too and those 3 moms have given my number to moms and moms and it has just been this chain reaction that I could have NEVER imagined. I'm not only grateful that they recommend me because of course that means WORK! but it goes beyond that. I had a mom email me this:
Also, just emailed my 'mom friend' this (about you):
Ok, random, but i had to tell someone that would appreciate it. Not only did she coax M out of his room (after he realised his mean witch of a mother was gone.) but she fed them all lunch, cleaned up everything...and when i got home, E was up. She (Mariana) told me that she had checked E's temp before naptime b/c she felt hot. She said E had a temp of 99 so she didn't think it was an emergency to call me. She checked it AGAIN when E woke up just to make sure it was going down. She is only 21!!! She's going to be an awesome mom ;) Anyhow, that was random.....but i know my husband won't really appreciate that, just another mom.
this brought tears to my eyes, along with every phone call I get from a "new mom" telling me how so and so gave them my number and they have heard only the best things about me. I cry and feel so humbled after every single call. This is what I'm talking about being passionate, these people know how much I absolutely adore their children and the fact that they allow me (and trust me enough) to come into their homes and watch their most precious treasures just truly makes me continue to have that drive in me. I've literally never felt this way before, so humble and grateful. Grateful to them, and most important, praising God for this wonderful lesson, and this wonderful opportunity to spend my summer doing what I love.
I hope all this inspires someone.
If your timid about something, but you know you are so great at it-go for it.
If you're heartbroken, take time to heal, yes, but don't dwell on what you cannot fix. Learn from it, embrace it, and move forward.
Love,
M
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